My legacy

I watched highlights from the Oprah show today because I when went to the dentist's office they had it on their waiting room TV.  One of the segments was about a woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer when her daughter was 5.  The mom recognized that she would die during her daughter’s childhood and she used the time before her death to record thoughts and counsel for her daughter to view after her death.  It was a very touching episode. 

So, I’ve thought about what kind of a legacy have I left for my children and grandchildren; especially since Laura and Jason won’t speak to me.  Jason locked me out of his life in 2005; I don’t know exactly why.  In September 2010 we asked Laura to leave our home.  She responded with much anger and accusations; I don’t know if she will ever forgive me.  But, even with the knowledge that 2 of my children are at odds with me, I can still hope that I can offer something worthwhile to the rest of my family. 

I’ve learned that the human spirit is both resilient and fragile.  It is resilient and enduring even when abused or neglected.  There is something innate in the human psyche that can continue to survive, and grow in the most austere circumstances.  That spark of human spirit clings to life like the bare roots of a bristlecone pine on the mountain side.  It cannot be extinguished and should not be diminished by any individual.  I think that one of the responsibilities that we as children of God is to not only protect but to nourish that spark in everyone we meet.

The responsibility to nurture especially lies in the role of parents.  I cringe inwardly every time I hear a parent lash out at a child.  I know that parents must discipline their children; and in doing so the tone of their voices may be strong and strident; but I’m referring to times when the interaction of parent and child is more akin to verbal abuse & harassment.  I believe that children, teens, adults, basically everyone should be cherished and valued.  Our job is to teach, and hold accountability with tearing anyone apart.  I believe in discipline, I believe in accountability and responsibility for your actions; but too many people use the platform of “discipline” or “accountability” as a forum to decimate another individual by destroying their spirit.

With these thoughts in mind, I challenge you, my loved ones: choose carefully the words you use with others.  Please temper your thoughts with love.  Discipline with love, express your concerns with others with compassion and nourish others by empowering them. When you hold your child’s fragile spirit, remember that they are blessings from God.  I know that this has always been my goal, but I am sure that there have been times that my words have wounded you. Please forgive me for the times when I failed to treat you with love and respect.  I know that you are better parents than I was and I am proud of you.

So the question will always be:  what kind of a legacy will I be leaving my children?  I hope it’s one of charity & service; it’s one of knowledge and understanding; it’s one of love and acceptance.  When I speak of spiritual things, I have to have the spirit of understanding with humility.  When I speak of practical things, I have to have the attitude of service.  I guess the next step will be setting goals and monitoring myself to see if I have made the necessary adjustments to myself to achieve my dreams.