Welcome to my world!

Sometimes I feel like that old tree on the ridge. I've experienced and learned so much in my life, and continue to learn and grow in my environment. My sense of what's good and right and valued comes from the wonderful people I've encountered; my faith in God and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and my delightful children & grandchildren who continue to teach and refine my perspective.



And yet, like that old tree, I am standing, sometimes alone, to represent those good and grand values, standards and goals. My roots strongly cling to the rocks and sparse dirt that sustains me. My arms and face reach to the sky acknowledging how small I am compared to the vast universe of creation. I feel the sun on my face and the wind as it passes me by; and I have felt the fury of storms filled with debris, as they assail me with doubts, insecurities, and wounds from the past.



Join me as I journey through life, sifting through the chaff and tares of mortality and striving every day to make something good out of the tools I have been given.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Change


Change
If there is one constant in mortality, it is change.  I’m not sure that I have always welcomed it in my life since I tend to see myself as someone who wants stability, but I have at least recognized that change is an old comrade.    And, as I reflect on my life, there has been change that has blessed me.
One of those changes was the opportunity to be introduced to the gospel of Jesus Christ when I was in high school.  The interesting note about this missionary moment was not that a friend bore their testimony, or that the elders found us while tracting. The gospel came into my life because of an acquaintance of the family.  Her name was Emily and she was the mom of several kids, one of whom was my age; her husband and my mom’s husband were friends.  Emily had invited the whole family to church several times, I attended a youth group once in a while, and then, she took a deep breath, and wrote our name on a referral card.  I imagine that she handed over that referral with some trepidation; my mother was not someone you wanted to meet in a dark alley.  But the Spirit spoke to Emily, and her inspiration became the first step to my baptism.
The stake missionaries called, set up an appointment and made the first visit.  I honestly don’t remember much about the visit, how their message was received, or how far apart the appointments were.  What I do remember was the feeling that this was the message that I had been waiting for my whole life (all 16 years of it.)  I didn’t need to finish the Book of Mormon at that time; I didn’t have burning questions to challenge the missionaries; I just knew it was true.
If you’re not familiar with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, let me share with you what was and is true.  I knew that this young teenager, Joseph Smith, had been visited by angels, ancient prophets of old, and most importantly, by God and his Son, Jesus Christ.  I knew that God, our Heavenly Father, had restored the gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth and that along with that message, He had also restored His ancient priesthood power back to the earth.  Along with that, I learned about how the body of the Church was organized, why reverencing the Sabbath was so important for man; how I could accept the Grace of God and then, daily, live my life exemplifying the gospel principles in which I so fully believed.
There is so much more:  deeper and sweeter than this short description above.  But it was that change in my life that has transformed me into who I am today.   And with that transformation, I have been able to traverse through the minefields of life: change. 
There are several changes that one must make in their life.  In my life, I have changed from single to married, child-less to mother of 5, a full house to empty nesting all the while balancing relationships, responsibilities, and the various roles of women.  One of the blessings of parenting is welcoming grandchildren; one of the bittersweet evolutions of parenting is separation. 
On my horizon is my next change:  moving.  Now I have moved many times and have lived in several states.  I used to boast that I had attended 14 schools from 1st grade to High School graduation; as an adult I have moved almost as much.  But this move, for some reason, unsettles me a bit.  I think it is because with this move, we go from a state of semi-permanence, to a state of uncertainness.  And even though we move back into our permanent home in Colorado, it is with the knowledge that we won’t be there long.  The next job assignment for Dennis is transitional, perhaps a few months on his own on the east coast while I remain in our Rocky Mountains.  But separation doesn’t bother me; we’ve been through that before.  It is the absence of belonging that I fear.
Belonging is one of the basic needs of humans, being a part of a greater whole.  In a lifetime, we are a part of several groups:  families, classes, clubs, teams, etc.  Many of those groups are temporary, or transitional.  A few of those groups are everlasting.  However, I know that there is one place of belonging that is eternal: in the arms and household of a Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.  My knowledge, my faith, and my continual belief in the gospel give me the needed sense of belonging to maintain my spiritual foundation, even when my temporal circumstances seem fluid and ever-changing. 
In the end, it will always be my spiritual side that perseveres.  Whatever the changes of life may be,  I will face them with (or probably without) grace or style, but face them I will.  I know it’s comforting for me to know that I won’t be alone when they come.  For Christ is my King, His angels are around me protecting me from evil, the Holy Ghost whispers in my ear that I can do this.  With my husband by my side, my childrens' arms supporting me with their love, and my Heavenly Father sending me His peace, the future will become the present without even a glance and my past will contain the residue of trials overcome.